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I had to delete few of my earlier posts. I just couldn't bear to think I had some kind of feelings towards M. He's total opposite of my ideal. I really hate the martyr in me. Like "no one else will ever love me boohoo, let's get that guy since he likes me." That's the way I got into relationship with my ex. I got so giddy of the feeling being wanted and ended up dating him. Not to mention of the long distance. Geez, how stupid I was. And now I'm pondering if I'm still being stupid, liking the little A. But I do like more younger men than older.
