Never ever

[elsrith]

Oh the frustration! I've been sick so I haven't seen him and now it seems that he's sick since I haven't seen him and blah. Why the out of sight out of mind thing doesn't work? Whatever I do I still think about him and dream about him. It has always the same pattern. I try to resist, very hard, but I always end up succumbing to him. Some say that love doesn't care about age or anything. Well, that might be true, but I'm troubled by the age difference. I shouldn't be feeling anything towards him. But the more I try to forbid it from myself, the more I seem to come to like and think about him. There's so many but's. He's way too young, I don't really know anything about him and finally the most important thing, what does he think about me?

And for the dude I had some weird interest in, stop looking at me. I don't like it. There's no feelings for you. There's no like, no hate, nothing. I feel nothing towards him. Maybe some disgust, revulsion. Definately no attraction.

Oh my little A. Can't I have you?