For him, I would...

I have been pondering about this age difference stuff. The difference of 12 years can't be that bad, can it? I'm not interested to have children anyway. And I look younger than my years. So why should I be ashamed? And he doesn't have to know about my feelings. I don't care if he guesses, then he can develop his own opinion about the matter. Really, he should be the one to make the decision, since my heart is so fickle and stupid. If he wants me, I'm going to have him. Though it feels so far-fetched at the moment. But life is weird and anything can happen. If he can deal with our age difference, why should I do otherwise?

Friday was the 7th day since I put in my application. I should get my letter tomorrow. I really want to get dem moneyz tomorrow. I want to eat better and lose weight. I'd hate to get some illness caused by overweight.