Aiming too high

I'm starting to get a bit troubled because of my interest in A. If I ever happened to get together with him, what people would think about 10+ age difference? And what would his parents think. Not to mention D. My friend said that she heard somwhere that A isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I kinda don't care. Isn't it that, that with couples it's enough when other one is clever. He's just so beautiful that I get almost dizzy. Though D isn't half bad either. He has very long eyelashes.

Oh, my, god... Why do I even consider those boys. Dammit, I'm mature woman compared to them. Though I really don't feel like being mature at all. The woman part is kinda the only truth about "mature woman". I'm not girl anymore. Only people about twenty years older than me are allowed to call me girl.

Anyways, I think I could be happy with A. It's just that he is so pretty (real life bishounen) and I'm kinda plain and chubby. I have noticed during years, that men don't actually go for me for my looks. I really think that my smile is the thing that draws them to me. Sounds a bit silly. But there's no other way to explain why someone gorgeous would go after the round and baby face me.

Well, this I must observe further. I'm not in a hurry to anywhere.