May. 16th, 2012

elsrith: mata090680 (Default)
So, my little A has invaded my dreams. I didn't want to wake up. It seems that I'm slowly starting to accept the age difference. Oh yes, if he did like me, I'd go for it. But at the same time I know there's no way he'd ever like me. I accept that too. And still I want him. I want to know more about him. I want to know all about him! I don't care if he's no Einstein or whatever. I don't care about too deep conversations. Hell with it, I'd be satisfied only to be his friend. You can't force your feelings on another person. So true and still I have done it in past. I know better now.

Well, my feelings can't hurt anyone if I keep silent about them. He doesn't have to know. He can guess, but I'm not telling until he has feelings for me. Which I really, really, really doubt he'd ever have. Life can be strange sometimes, so I'm not abandoning my hope. There is slight possibility that he would start liking me. The chance is like 0,01%. I don't care, I still like him.
elsrith: mata090680 (Default)
Yes, he is a dream. Fictional portrait of a living person. Totally fictional person in the shape of a someone that exists but is too far from reach. I can't reach him, so I dream. And I like of my dream. I just wish I didn't have to wake up, because I have nothing. I have nothing! I have only a shadow of a person and I have fallen for that shadow. The shadow I can shape into my liking. But he's not the shadow, he's something else, so I have nothing. Feeling quite poetical tonight.

*sigh* All this and I can't help but cherishing the dream.


elsrith: mata090680 (Default)

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