Apr. 11th, 2012

Blinded

Apr. 11th, 2012 02:40 am
elsrith: mata090680 (Default)
If he was to say to me "will you marry me?" in this instant, I would scream yes! But I have no delusions here, he's so much younger and I'm not 100% sure he's attracted to me. But, but, but!!! I would rather take him than M... It finally came to me why I'm so attracted to him. He resembles a lot of my first love, N. So if situations go to that he would ask me to be his gf, I would say yes. I really would like to get to know him better. I want to know more. I want...
elsrith: mata090680 (Default)
Damned be my stupid, fickle, whimsical heart! I have entered the state of evasion and refusal. After being so amorous I suddenly deny everything and try to escape from my fantasies. Yes, he's only a fantasy for me. Shadow of my first love. He's too young. He possibly can't take care of me like man takes care of his woman. And I'm afraid I'd be only some kind of mother-figure.

I'm feeling dejected. Every guy I pick is somehow incompatible. I'm mistaking lust for love all the time. Is this really hopeless?

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elsrith: mata090680 (Default)
Elysian

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